THE 6 MOST COMMON COMMUNICATION ISSUES IN RELATIONSHIPS
There are many moments that would end way less depressing, if people could simply communicate properly.
Obviously, communication issues in relationships is key.
It’s possible that the coronavirus pandemic is making matters of communication even trickier. People are being forced to sit and look at things within themselves and their relationships that they have successfully avoided in the past.
But, just because communication issues in relationships are common doesn’t mean they need to be constant. The reality is that communication doesn’t need to be that difficult.
Here are six of the most common communication issues that psychologists see in relationships, and how to fix them
The 6 most common communication issues in relationships, and how psychologists suggest addressing them.
1. Just not communicating
People ignore uncomfortable communication, thinking that it will pass without being addressed, but this sort of denial rarely works. This type of thinking and subsequent inaction can lead to years of avoiding issues that are ultimately hurting the relationship.
To fix it, you’re going to have to communicate about your communication patterns with your partner. It’s important to make sure the aim of this meta-style check-in is to explore how you and your partner can improve communication itself, not to resolve any other issues that have arisen as a result of the root communication issues.
Try asking the following three questions to get started:
- “What do you think we do well when it comes to communication?”
- “How could we improve our communication?”
- “What do you need from me when it comes to communication?”
Do regular check-in with your partner, so you’re able to address issues before they come up, instead of bottling them up inside until they explode, and suddenly your misguided frustration manifests into a fight about whether or not it’s okay to leave the spatula in the pan while you’re cooking.
2. Worrying things will get worse if you delve deeper
People often fear that if they dive deeper into their difficulties, things will get worse. However, it is quite the opposite: Friction grows when it is ignored. Conflict is inevitable, and the only way to successfully resolve tension is to communicate about it.
Whilst working through issues head-on in this way can feel very scary and uncomfortable, it’s important to do, nonetheless.
3. Expecting your partner to be a mind-reader
Apparently, you can’t expect your partner to read your mind, so it’s key to know what you personally want and need, and—yep, you guessed it—communicate that. Marin says Take few minutes by yourself to figure out what’s really going on for you. Ask yourself questions like, ‘Why is this so important?’ and ‘What do I need?’
4. Trying to be right
It’s not effective to approach any issue with the goal to be deemed correct. There are three truths to every situation: your truth, your partner’s truth, and the objective reality.
You have to be willing to accept that your partner is having the experience that they’re having, even if it’s a wildly different experience than what you’re having.
5. Getting defensive and not really listening
The goal for communication should be understanding, not agreeing. Most couples think they’re supposed to get to agreement, which can cause so many problems. What you can do, though, is understand each other, which requires listening and not try to “win.”
When couples argue, they often do not fight well; they are mean to each other, blaming or shaming to get their point across. Continuing to fight in a way that is harmful can be incredibly destructive for a relationship. If one can view the argument as an opportunity, tension has the possibility of leading to increased understanding and empathy.
6. Shutting down and refusing to talk
Oftentimes people stonewall because they’re feeling overwhelmed. To prevent this, rather tell your partner that you want to return to the conversation once you’re in a better space to have it.